Excessive?

L_I_N_K

All right, I'm not usually one to side with protesters (because they're almost always crazy), but in this instance I have to agree 100%.

I don't care how much the Bush family claims they're trying to "mend" the United State's relationship with Islamic countries. After George Bush stirred up all this conflict in the Middle East, soiled the world's perception of Muslims, and basically spat in the face of religious equality by pushing his conservative Christian agenda - I'm shocked that he would even consider visiting Islamic infrastructure (not-to-mention, EXTREMELY holy Islamic infrastructure). Additionally, Bush ferociously supports the Israelis in the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict, but he'll visit the Dome of the Rock mosque, one of the things we've taken away from the Palestinians by supporting and aiding the Israelis.. So, am I at all upset when Muslim protesters shout "you don't belong here" at the president and the first lady, as the hop from holy here to holy there in their limo? Not really.

Additionally, I can just picture the shock on Bush's face when he figured out that the Israelis hate him, too. All the Israelis are stilled miffed about Jonathan Pollard, and rightfully so. The poor guy does some spying for Israel (to get info on some Arab countries), and then he's arrested and sentenced to life in prison. AND THEN, in the mid 1990's Yitzhak Rabin convinces Clinton to pardon the guy, but the Justice and Defense Department (not to mention the worthless CIA) tell him not to pardon him. Yeah, way to be a pawn Clinton (isn't he always? CHINACHINACHINA). Anyways, now Bush is in office and the guy is still wasting away in some shitty North Carolina prison.

Not to sound like an angsty teenage anarchist, but the president blows, and I'm glad everyone is starting to realise it. Oh well.

What Ever Happened to Charlie?!

I always wondered what happened to that kid who played Charlie in Willy Wonka. Well, now I know. Look here.

Musics!

I want to go to Sonic Boom Records in Seattle, Washington. I can't find my vinyls anywhere, and they've an original production Cannonball Adderly. I need it! I'm revamping my music list again. More jazz, less classical. I found some very cool bands to listen to through Shira and Jordan.

The Jolly Rogers sent me their brand, brand, brand new EP I wanted. It's free, so I'm pretty stoked. I'm soooo angry that The Basement cancelled their May 4th show! Argh!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the chicken cross the road,
Where headlights gleamed and traffic flowed?
For death was surely waiting there,
And with death, a bird's despair.

No feasible answer can be provided,
But when she and the car collided,
The chicken clucked out as it died,
"I'm going to the other side!"


Everyone is at homecoming, and I am alone. :(

Guilt-Complex

Today is the anniversary of my father's death. I can't help but feel guilty. I'm not sure if anyone else ever feels guilty just for being happy or not being miserable, but I feel that way all the time, especially today. I was never very close with my father, but I remember things. And it hurts to remember, it really does. It's even worse being in this house, it's haunting. Half his clothes are still in the closet with their dry-cleaning tags on. His razor is still the bathroom, but it's rusty. No one has the heart to throw even the smallest thing out, like he's going to come back and want a nice shave and a clean shirt. I feel like I'll never be happy again because if I'm happy for a second, I'm miserable for the rest of the day. And is that worth it? I'm sure some people would say yes, but I'm sure those same people just don't understand.

I wanted to go to his grave and be with him today. I wanted to keep him company, even though I know he doesn't need it. Death just seems so lonesome, and I regret not spending enough time with my father when he was alive. I regret the rules I broke, the times I let him down, whenever I said, "I hate you". I can't take anything back, though. I just wish I could tell him, and have him forgive me. I wish I could say goodbye, and have him understand. When he was dying, I had to be the strong one. Everyone was crying and miserable, I just sat with him holding his hand and waiting. I kept telling him everything was okay, that it was okay to die, even though everyone was begging him to live. I was so angry that I had to be the one pretend to be stable, even though I hurt so badly inside. Sometimes you just have to take control of those situations, though.

It's kind of sad because the last time he was conscious and could speak was on my birthday. I remember he sang me a little song and pretended to play the guitar, "seventeen, seventeen" and everyone laughed. Then he looked at my mum and said, "Lynda, am I going to die?" And she said, "yes." The next day, he was vegetative.

Well, now I feel REALLY super miserable, and I wish I hadn't gone to school and visited my father instead. Visiting him would have been the right thing to do, but I'm selfish sometimes. I feel like I could just keep going and pretend nothing happened. I want to forget, but I don't want to forget at the same time. I want to be kind of blissfully ignorant, but I love my father and want to remember everything about him, even his death. It's very confusing.

I guess I'm complaining a little too much because everyone dies. And I guess it's horrible to think "why him?," like death makes exceptions to accommodate me. I can't help it, though.

Hair/Music

My brother's teacher told his hair was too long (again). I guess he was just tired of hearing about it, so he CUT HIS OWN BANGS IN CLASS! Well, they were all uneven, so my mum said I could cut his hair to fix it. I was so excited, I almost died. I'll post a picture of it soon to show you all my handy-work. I'm quite proud of myself. It's not a masterpiece (he even made me stop halfway in the middle), but it's a damn good job considering I've never cut anyone's hair before. I think I've found my talent, too bad it's for some lame job. I can always work for the government decoding license plates. Skillz.

On a different note, I've almost completely renovated my music list:

The Apples in Stereo, Animal Collective, Beethoven, Bjork, Brahms, Broken Social Scene, Caribou, Charlie Parker, Chet Baker, The Chinese Stars, Chopin, Cibo Matto, The Clash, Daft Punk, Deer Hoof, The Dismemberment Plan, Dizzy Gillespie, Duke Ellington, Earth Wind and Fire, Gang of Four, George Gershwin, Handel, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, Herbie Hancock, Jimi Hendrix, John Coltrane, The Jolly Rogers, Joni Mitchell, LCD Soundsystem, Les Savy Fav, Liszt, Louis Armstrong, Luther Allison, Mahler, Miles Davis, Mozart, Neutral Milk Hotel, Of Montreal, The Olivia Tremor Control, Owls, Palestrina, Papa Wemba, Pavement, Prefuse 73, Prokofiev, Ravi Shankar, Regina Spektor, Schubert, Schumann, Sebadoh, The Shins, Shostakovich, Soul Coughing, Stan Getz, Tchaikovsky, The Unicorns